The Lethargy of Unrelenting Political Commentary on Social Media: Shutthefuckupism

 You have been religiously posting daily your political thoughts. You share the all memes and the links that support your view. You are a tireless champion for the cause but lately your posts are garnering likes or comments from only the most loyal of your friends if you get any reactions at all. It’s disheartening to think so many of your online friends are apathetic to the struggle or worse yet do not share your feelings on today’s most important issues. How could so many of them be so willfully blind or just dead wrong? 

It’s probably not you and your positions at all. Your less-than-interactive-lately page may well be the victim of Shutthefuckupism. Your take on issues, your political allegiance, your personal moral code – It’s all been well documented online by now. Your friends are long past wondering where you stand. They don’t question your beliefs.  In fact many of them probably don’t even disagree with them.  It’s just that at this point in your cyber existence they have read your repetitive thoughts ad nauseam. They are all just a bit numb to it now. It’s not that they don’t care. They just don’t have the energy or interest in validating you again. If they did honestly reply to you it would likely be something similar to ‘OK. We get it. We got it yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. Kudos to you But.Enough.Already.’  In other words, ‘Shut the fuck up.’

A good friend will never post that in response to your endless commentary but a good many of them probably have the immediate thought when they read it. That is probably why most just kind of give your posts the swipe left treatment. It is more out of respect than disregard. After all they probably still enthusiastically validate those rare pet, food, flowers, clouds, travel, and family posts when they scroll to them.

And therein lies the counter to shutthefuckism. Diversify your brand. Mix up the posting persona. The occasional well thought out statement is profound. It’s insightful. It gets a thumbs up. Carpet-bombing an opinion is redundant. It generates mass casualties of insouciance.

Fret not weary warrior.  The Political Season is nearly over.  By decree of the gods it is followed by the Holiday Season and that should give you plenty of opportunity to rekindle the all the 💖

A Letter to my Daughter

It is that time of year again when very important people are invited to share their thoughts on how they became important with the latest class of graduating seniors.  I am not a very important person nor was I invited to share my thoughts on success with any graduating class.  Lacking any such credentials I took the next best opportunity to share in the pomp and circumstance by participating in a letter writing assigment for my daughter's AP Lit class.   Her teacher asked parents to write some words of wisdom for our soon to be graduating senior.  (One of the last times I posted here was to do the same for her older brother so expect this to be a semi-annual thing - at least until my kids all graduate)

Dear Gillian,

One of the unfortunate situations with being the second child is the often “not so novel the second time around” projects to which teachers ask parents to contribute.   This is one such situation.  Two years ago your brother took the same class and came home with the same assignment.   Merely brushing off that letter to your brother and resubmitting it is unfair to you, who are as unique as he is and deserving of equally unique advice from your parents.

Art often imitates life and as you are preparing for your milestone event your mother and I find a kinship in Polonius who stood before his son, Laertes, as he prepared to leave for college.  He offered sage advice to the boy and in Polonius’ spirit we offer wisdom to our brilliant and enthusiastic daughter.

We know well how anxious you are and how often you stress unnecessarily about all levels of detail.  There is something to be said for seeking perfection.  Attention to detail is important to success but not at the risk of losing substance.  A grammatically correct sentence is not the same as a well written one. As you write your life’s story push the boundaries of grammar. Take chances with colorful turns of phrases and dangle more than your share of participles.  Split the infinitives!

Slow jam your experiences and go off script.  There will be enough Teleprompters out there telling you how to say and do things. You don’t need to always follow them.   

Try to do what you love because then all the work you put into it won’t feel like effort.  It will feel like fun and it will come naturally like water flows down a stream. 

Don’t worry if things start out rough and unsettled.  A young stream babbles and skips and pivots unexpectedly tripping over the rocks in its path.  Eventually though that young stream settles down into a long winding river that is calm and sure of its way – meandering along, enjoying its roll, confident in its destination.
Life is a constant journey; always in motion.  When we stop, things don't go right. Criticism, like any obstacle, seeks to stop us, slow things down.  Learn to use that criticism as fuel and you will never run out of energy.

If you keep finding yourself lost, try looking for something different.  Change your perspective. Sometimes when we set out to find something we just keep coming back to the same wrong spot.  Decide to look for something else and maybe you just might stumble onto what you really wanted.

Please try to relax.  Breathe.   Always walk.    What’s the rush?  It isn’t a race you are about to start.  There is no discernible winner and the finish line is different for everyone.  There are no judges and those who will judge you are usually those least qualified to do so.

Remember, there is no need to stand when you can sit.  And to that point, there is no need to sit when you can lie down.  Resting is important to your health, your happiness and your beauty.

Your beauty can’t be found in a bottle.  Advertisers spend a fortune promising beauty.  You already possess it.  You radiate it through your intelligence, through your attitude, through your kindness and compassion, through your sense of purpose, and through your humor.

Remember to floss regularly.  It is important to take care of your teeth. We paid a lot for that beautiful smile and it lights up a room when you let it out.  So let it out often.  Nothing opens doors faster than a smile.

Laugh as much as you can every day.  Laugh at silly things. Laugh at obscure things. When you find humor in difficult passages you have already found your way out of them.  Sometimes everyone will laugh with you. Sometimes no one will.  Occasionally just one person will.  That person might be someone you want to get to know better - or they are bat shit crazy.  It may be hard to tell at times. Some people are here only to serve as a warning to others.  Heed those warnings.

Take risks.  No one who ever saw the whole world saw it from a window unless she was an astronaut but then she had to take the risk of getting up there to see it.  Take note though, before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you can survive the odds beating you.

The law of diminishing returns applies to everything.  A $10 bottle of wine may taste pretty good until you try a $100 bottle.  But does that wine really taste 10 times better?  How would you know unless you then try $1000 bottle of wine?  At some point there really is no distinction left to make.  Never recognizing when you have it good can lead to a lifetime of dissatisfaction.

Appreciate what you have when you have it, but don’t close your eyes to what else may yet come along.  You can look forward to the future while still enjoying the present.   If done right, when you look back you will find you are exactly where you had hoped you would be.
Remember wherever you are there was once somewhere you came from that you can always go back to - your family.
Always love
                        your Mom and Dad.

WHY BOOKER WINNING BIG IS THE ONLY HOPE FOR REPUBLICANS

In politics momentum can be everything.  Looking at New Jersey’s current special election for US senator it has become very clear that the Tea Party endorsed Republican, Steve Lonegan,  has been gaining momentum on Democratic favorite, Newark Mayor Cory Booker.  Whether that momentum results in an upset or if it was too little, too late in a race designed to be too short will all sorted out by 8 PM tonight.

At a moment when our federal government is at its height of dysfunctional absurdity, a Lonegan win or even a Lonegan close call in this consistently blue Garden State would send electoral shockwaves across the nation.  It would embolden conservative advocates in every corner of America and induce mass pants-wetting by moderate, establishment republicans still shell shocked from Romney’s presidential debacle.  It would open up the primary challenger floodgates for  the 2014 mid-term elections creating expensive intra-party fighting on the right while absolving the left of any responsibility of running for anything specific other than running against purported extremists.   

In the immediate aftermath, a Lonegan win, or let’s call it a Booker poor showing, could make the already uphill battle for New Jersey republicans to regain control of one or both of the legislative houses that much more impossible.   Despite the grossly uneven match up between current Governor Christie verses perennial unfavorable Barbara Buono, conventional wisdom has Democrats holding their majority in the Legislature.  Wisdom aside, there is real concern among the Majority though that a Christie win of 20 or more points would inevitably sweep in unexpected republican victories down ticket presenting a scenario that republicans, suffering under an unfairly slanted legislative map, have been dreaming of for over a decade now.

But momentum being what it is, if it favors Lonegan and results in the very least Booker not winning by double digit numbers, you can expect to find it will almost immediately change course and gather very rapidly in the form of newly energized and repurposed democratic ground operations leading up to the real election day in November.  A Lonegan victory would still mean a Christie victory as the two are fairly mutually exclusive, again by design.  However, having been sufficiently embarrassed by a Lonegan win or Booker poor showing, New Jersey’s democrat machines statewide would undoubtedly kick into high gear to protect their advantage.  The effect of which would drive Christie’s victory spread downward to the mid-teens and squashing any tiny inkling of republican upsets at the legislative level this year or any subsequent election cycle through 2021. 

As painful as it is for many of us on the right to suggest, Booker needs to win big tonight or Republicans could be looking at a generation of minority irrelevance.

A Letter to My Son

       A few weeks back, my son begrudgingly brought home a school assignment for his parents to do.  He  knows my feelings on projects that require parental participation.  I don’t do homework anymore and I dislike teachers who think assigning it to parents  "will be fun" or "a really great opportunity" for the parents to get involved.   His mother and I have been involved since P-K and at this stage in his academic life, he needs to be well on his way to self-sufficiency.

      His Lit class was reading Hamlet and they were dissecting Polonius’ advice to his departing son, Laertes.  You know it: “Never a beggar or borrower be” and “to thine own self be true" yada, yada, yada.  Our task was to craft advice to our son, as he prepared to graduate and start the next stage of his life.  The assignment was do the next day. He waited nearly a week to present it to us – that is how much he knows my feelings on the matter.

      Here is the 11^th hour homework we completed for our son so that he could maintain his GPA:

Dear Garrett,

      You are about to enter into the next stage of your life and you are probably both excited and nervous.   That’s alright, you are not alone.  All of your friends are feeling the same way and long ago your mother and I did, too.  You may be anxious thinking you are rudderless as you find your ship moving in to stronger currents.  You might feel a sense of urgency as if you need to have every aspect of your life figured out and a course plotted to get you some definitive endpoint.  You need to solve for the ultimate X.  That is hardly the case.

 

• We want to tell you to relax.  Breathe.   Always walk.  Don’t run.  What’s rush?  It isn’t a race you are about to start.  There is no discernible winner and the finish line is different for everyone.  There are no judges and those who will judge you are usually those least qualified to do so.
• Savor every bite you take.  Life is a buffet.  Take a little bit of everything, go for seconds, and leave room for dessert.   Better yet, try dessert first every now and then.
• Put necessity before luxury.  If you pay for what you want only to have to beg for what you need, you will never be more than a beggar.
• Pennies are not worthless.  If they were, homeless guys wouldn’t stop to pick them up. Spare change quickly adds up to a few bucks.  Money is worth more than the paper it is printed and should be handled with care.  Debt is credit past due plus interest.   Pay your bills on time.
• Shoes bought online are always returned.  There are certain things in life you need to try on for size before committing to them, like hats, glasses, cars, and love. 
• Words uttered in haste are like fog.  They cloud the moment but dissipate in time.  Words emailed in haste are a permanent record.   Type it once and then delete.  Type it again differently and then delete that, too.  Type it and delete over and over until the frustration dissipates like the fog.  After all of that, if you still have an overwhelming urge to send it, seek counseling.  You have anger management issues.
• Always stand up to be seen. Speak up to be heard and sit down to be appreciated.  When you stand well, stand still.  Saying more than you need weakens your position.
• Always wear clean underwear.  You never know when you will get in an accident.  If the accident happens to be in your underwear, take them off and clean yourself up and go without underwear.  Someone going commando is intriguing. Someone with dirty underwear is just nasty.
• There is a first time for everything but there is never second first time.  Recognize and appreciate novelty.
• Tip well when warranted.  People who serve you well deserve to be rewarded.  Tip less to discourage poor service.  But always tip.  Servers are trying to make a living just like the rest of us.
• No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood.  You do not act alone.  Every action you take has an impact on someone else so be mindful where you step.
• Read the instructions first. Review them after you are done.  It will probably explain why you have spare parts.
• World peace doesn’t sound so great to a career soldier.  If finding a solution will put you out of work, you would be better served to prolong the problem until you have another job lined up.
• Someone else gave you your name but only you can make a name for yourself. 
• Try laughing out loud once a day. 
• Don’t go to bed angry.  You will sleep better.
• Smile often.
• Love your Mom and Dad.

Love,

Your Mom and Dad.

Dissecting Romney's Report Card

Intellectual jack-of-all-trades, Norman Cousins, once noted that "history is a vast early warning system."  Though clearly an app for geopolitical purposes, its routine use on individuals is highly effective as well. Consider our use of sports stats to determine not only overall team rankings but each player's value as well. Candidates for public office are no different in this regard.

Their prior votes, long held views, planned or ill-prepared statements, and even personal histories are analyzed in hopes of trying to get a glimpse of how they may be based on how they were. No stone seems to go unturned in our collective attempts to find the sum of a person based on the whole of the parts.

             In that vein, let me tell you everything you needed to know about a potential Romney Presidency can be learned by simply interpreting the grades of his high school, freshman year, first quarter report card (http://www.mediaite.com/online/mitt-romneys-high-school-freshman-report-card-released/).

            B in English:  Ineffective communicator; lacks ability to connect with people. As the teacher's comment implies, he gets his message across but folks aren't feeling it.

            B in Elementary Algebra:  Doesn't really understand economics.  Note he tends not to study enough which means he probably cannot even make sense of his own fiscal policies.

            B in Biology:  Anti-woman, homophobic, creationist.  His difficulty with genetics is indicative of someone who has difficulty understanding when life begins and that homosexuals are born that way.  "Originality” and “imagination” suggest a fantastical obsession with Intelligent Design mythology.

            C in French: Unapologetic American Exceptionalist with an ineffective foreign policy agenda.  Early high scores - Olympics is international, right? - lulled him into assuming he was ready to lecture an ally; cede the religious center of the world completely to Judaism alone; and act like he had anything to do with Polish independence won 20 years before he took the stage. (Note the oddly conciliatory closing comment on his admirable and potentially successful efforts by someone with the initials HRC. Was a perennial Democratic favorite hedging her bets even then?)

            B - in Art:  Republican In Name Only.Despite attempts at being a slacker in an elective, he can't hide his true leanings. A real conservative would never take a course that leads to a lifetime of taxpayer subsidization let alone show any sign of being proficient in one of its profitless mediums.

Mitt Romney also had what appears to be an unexcused absence that quarter which could lead to calls for him to release his full medical records since birth.  The additional comment that he was “a more responsible citizen” that year begs the question, what was he before that? Some intentionally unnamed sources have it on good, albeit unanimous, authority that prior to 1961, Mitt was neither responsible nor a citizen.

(Based on this single transcript alone, one can conclude unequivocally who the better man is in this election.  And while President Obama has yet to release any of his transcripts we should take him at everyone else’s word that he is a genius; that 4 years of 8+ unemployment rates spurred on by billions in special interest stimulus is recovery; and that total annual deficit spending under his economy policies - more than that of all of his predecessors combined - coupled with increasing taxes and fees on all Americans is the only way to prosperity.)

Gay for Chik-Fil-A? NJ Won't Be Lovin' Ya Back

As an openly heterosexual male I have long found that Chik-Fil-A is a fantastic facility in which to aggressively make out with my wife.  For years now we have locked lips and slobbered over each other at the counter, across the tables, in the booths, bathrooms and even the indoor playground.   My car’s fender is all scratched up from trying to go at it while maneuvering the drive-thru lane.  We are not unlike the hundreds of thousands of other heterosexual couples who frequent Chik-Fil-A with the sole purpose of getting it on in there like teenagers in their parents’ basement.   Sometimes we don’t even order any food that is how conducive the environment is for inappropriate displays of public affection.  That is unless, of course, you are a homosexual. 

Same sex couples are not allowed to kiss each other in a Chik-Fil-A.  They aren’t allowed in the restaurant and even turned away at the drive-thru.  And we know this because?  Well, because of the big signs on the doors that say, “No Gays Allowed;” because of the voice at the drive-thru that prompts gays to immediately drive away while it offers to assist all others; and because of  the gaydar  at the counter that will sound when a covert homosexual tries to order value meal.  (The kids' meals come with a state issued Certificate of Marriage and Chik-Fil-A does not conduct same-sex marriage ceremonies in their stores.  It is written in their corporate rules as is the no-gays served policy.) 

Bearing ample evidence illustrating wholesale discrimination in each and every franchise across the nation, some in the LGBT community have said enough is enough and declared today National Same Sex Kiss Day at Chik-Fil-A.   Because nothing says we deserve equality better than inappropriately making out at a fast food restaurant, right?
 
Yeah.  Steve Goldstein, Chairman of New Jersey’s Garden State Equality advocacy group feels the same way about the effectiveness of this kiss-in campaign.   He rightly points out same sex relationships, just like straight couples, involve so much more than sloppy and awkward P.D.A.s.  They are deeper and more committed than that. While he doesn’t say this called for action makes a mockery of the basic human right he and countless others are fighting for, it is pretty clear he sat this one out.  The group didn’t offer up ringing endorsements to act like juveniles in heat at area restaurants.  Securing the fundemental right of loving partners to legally marry themselves and their property to each other is not won with sideshow antics that only reinforce belittling stereotypes.

Goldstein notes that GSE will recommend an alternative, more long-term action against the company to get its message out there.  He understands the first amendment and respects personal opinions and the right of private citizens to spend their money as they so choose.  He hopes enough folks will choose not to spend theirs at Chik-Fil-A.    No calls for pickets and protests of local franchises employing your neighbors but rather just the simple nonverbal expression of your first amendment right by driving right by it even if you are hungry and those nuggets are pretty damn good.

Some have already done so.   Local entities that have worked with Chik-Fil-A in the past are rethinking that relationship.  Others might not see any connection between the personal statements of a mostly nameless faceless CEO far, far away and the local chains serving up decent, reasonably priced meals in an extremely courteous environment.  How often do any of us really think about the political side of the profits we contribute to daily?  Folks like Steve Goldstein  are hoping now is the time you start, and not just by kissing it up at Chik-Fil-A.

http://www.courierpostonline.com/article/20120803/NEWS01/308030018/No-kiss-menu-N-J-gay-groups

Frankly, He Was a Great Guy

I was 27 when I met Republican Leader, Assemblyman Alex DeCroce.   Just a kiddo, in his vernacular.  He chaired my first legislative committee assignment in the General Assembly.  I cut my political teeth in Assemblyman DeCroce’s Committee.  I learned a lot about the process under his leadership but more importantly I learned a lot about the quality of the man and the value of his word under his friendship.

As with any effective legislator, he was  savvy, disciplined, conscientious and efficient.  He expected as much from everyone he dealt with, staff included.  As a politician, Assemblyman DeCroce knew the game well.  He understood the necessity at times for partisanship but beyond that as a public servant he instinctively sought solutions.  He knew the value of compromise and encouraged discussion from both sides of the aisle.  No bill was released from his committee half-done for the sake of a press release.  He wasn’t signing off on anything that wasn’t the best working product and had the consensus of all involved.  Substance was always more important than style and he never clamored for the credit or headlines. He just sought what was best for the state.

It was that manner in which he conducted business that revealed the dedication and humility of Alex and showed me that he was politician only when necessary but a gentleman always. 

Almost immediately I felt familiarity with the Assemblyman.  Both of us were born and raised in Morris County albeit the Morris County I grew up in was largely built by him. Both of us shared Italian heritage and working class roots. But what really struck me about Alex DeCroce was how strongly his personality matched that of my father.  It was the era in which they came of age that gave them both a quiet sense of duty and commitment, a respect for the rules and civility, and an appreciation for loyalty, and a great sense of humor.   

Generosity is another shared quality of the two men.  My father is always generous with his time and when able his resources.  Alex always had a moment to share with anyone who sought it.  From a staffer’s perspective, he was tremendously generous with his own personal resources to make sure those loyal to him always felt welcome (and well fed),  were treated with respect, and recognized for their efforts.  He strived  not only to maintain a staff that worked well together but to foster an almost familial congeniality among us.  His paternal influence in the office motivated all of us to excel  not merely to advance a political position but  because we knew it pleased him to see us do so. 

I found working with the Assemblyman to be a hardly working at all.  So much so that I always felt at home in his office, free to speak informally, free to offer honest assessments.  I understood his thought process and I knew where he would come down on an issue with little need for discussion.  I also recognized that Alex had heartfelt conviction which at times would need some pause if it were to be understood properly as insight and not mere opinion. 

Like anyone’s father, Alex spoke with sincerity and compassion shrouded in frankness.  At times he offered a necessary but bitter pill of constructive criticism.  Nothing was ever sugar coated and occasionally what first came to mind is what came out of his mouth but it was always delivered with the best of intentions.  He was never spiteful or mean-spirited.  There was no maliciousness in his message.

Alex was not an elequent orator (although there was often  eloquence to be found in the simplicity of his wisdom). He communicated with the plainspoken language of a bygone era where words were not artificially defined with political implications and turns-of-phrase weren’t entangled with potential liabilities.  What Alex lacked in finesse he more than made up for in honesty and forthrightness. He spoke from the heart not from well-tested talking points and speaking from the heart at times leaves you open to criticism, justified or not.  He spoke just like your father and family speak around the dinner table.

Staff tried often to have him work off of prepared remarks and Alex tried as best he could to read from his script.  But you always knew when Alex was off script.  When he went off script is when you heard passion in his voice and conviction in his tone.  When Alex was off script, there was a lesson to learn, a point to be made, and wisdom to be imparted.  He spoke from experience on the issues and not from knowledge - the latter being gleaned from pages of research prepared for you but lacking the dirt under the nails authenticity only experience can bring.

Those who took the time to listen recognized all of this in Assemblyman DeCroce and respected him for that. Those who didn't listen lost out on the wisdom of Alex DeCroce.  Then again, as the saying goes, you cannot impart wisdom as it is always taken as foolishness.  It is much like your father's comments in the midst of a daunting task.  If only you take pause you will respect and appreciate the advice of your father; realizing he knows what he is talking about not because he read the instructions but because long ago he rolled his sleeves up, got his hands dirty and did it already.