A few weeks
back, my son begrudgingly brought home a school assignment for his parents to
do. He knows my feelings on projects that require
parental participation. I don’t do homework anymore and I dislike
teachers who think assigning it to parents "will be fun" or "a really great opportunity" for the
parents to get involved. His mother and
I have been involved since P-K and at this stage in his academic life, he needs
to be well on his way to self-sufficiency.
His Lit class was reading Hamlet and they were dissecting Polonius’ advice to his departing
son, Laertes. You know it: “Never a beggar or borrower be” and “to thine own self be true" yada, yada, yada. Our task
was to craft advice to our son, as he prepared to graduate and start the next
stage of his life. The assignment was do the next day. He waited nearly a week to present it to us – that is how much he knows my feelings on the matter.
Here is the 11th
hour homework we completed for our son so that he could maintain his GPA:
Dear Garrett,
You are about to
enter into the next stage of your life and you are probably both excited and
nervous. That’s alright, you are not
alone. All of your friends are feeling
the same way and long ago your mother and I did, too. You may be anxious thinking you are rudderless
as you find your ship moving in to stronger currents. You might feel a sense of urgency as if you
need to have every aspect of your life figured out and a course plotted to get
you some definitive endpoint. You need to solve for the ultimate X. That is hardly the case.
- We want to tell you to relax. Breathe. Always walk. Don’t run. What’s rush? It isn’t a race you are about to start. There is no discernible winner and the finish line is different for everyone. There are no judges and those who will judge you are usually those least qualified to do so.
- Savor every bite you take. Life is a buffet. Take a little bit of everything, go for seconds, and leave room for dessert. Better yet, try dessert first every now and then.
- Put necessity before luxury. If you pay for what you want only to have to beg for what you need, you will never be more than a beggar.
- Pennies are not worthless. If they were, homeless guys wouldn’t stop to pick them up. Spare change quickly adds up to a few bucks. Money is worth more than the paper it is printed and should be handled with care. Debt is credit past due plus interest. Pay your bills on time.
- Shoes bought online are always returned. There are certain things in life you need to try on for size before committing to them, like hats, glasses, cars, and love.
- Words uttered in haste are like fog. They cloud the moment but dissipate in time. Words emailed in haste are a permanent record. Type it once and then delete. Type it again differently and then delete that, too. Type it and delete over and over until the frustration dissipates like the fog. After all of that, if you still have an overwhelming urge to send it, seek counseling. You have anger management issues.
- Always stand up to be seen. Speak up to be heard and sit down to be appreciated. When you stand well, stand still. Saying more than you need weakens your position.
- Always wear clean underwear. You never know when you will get in an accident. If the accident happens to be in your underwear, take them off and clean yourself up and go without underwear. Someone going commando is intriguing. Someone with dirty underwear is just nasty.
- There is a first time for everything but there is never second first time. Recognize and appreciate novelty.
- Tip well when warranted. People who serve you well deserve to be rewarded. Tip less to discourage poor service. But always tip. Servers are trying to make a living just like the rest of us.
- No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood. You do not act alone. Every action you take has an impact on someone else so be mindful where you step.
- Read the instructions first. Review them after you are done. It will probably explain why you have spare parts.
- World peace doesn’t sound so great to a career soldier. If finding a solution will put you out of work, you would be better served to prolong the problem until you have another job lined up.
- Someone else gave you your name but only you can make a name for yourself.
- Try laughing out loud once a day.
- Don’t go to bed angry. You will sleep better.
- Smile often.
- Love your Mom and Dad.
Love,
Your
Mom and Dad.
